Funny Things To Say To Your Plumber

Our friend Dick (yeah, that’s his name, not a redeeming quality) is a reporter and interviewed a plumber for a DIY home improvement segment about bathrooms last week. At one point in the interview, talking about fixing toilets, the guy said — on camera — “Most of the time, you just need a good ballcock adjustment.” After Dick pissed himself, he told us about it and we thought of some more stuff to say while chatting with a ballcock adjuster.
Funny Things To Say When Your Plumber Mentions A Ballcock Adjustment

1. I’ve “dressed left” for years, but now my pants are all snug on the right.
2. I sure could use one. I keep walking in circles.
3. Should I turn and cough?
4. My flap keeps leaking.
5. Is it true that side effects of a misadjusted ballcock may include dizziness, headaches, dry mouth, and longing for days gone by?
6. Time for another ballcock adjustment. Caught my wife using the neighbor’s toilet again.
7. Is it true I’ll go blind if I keep “jiggling the handle?”
8. It burns when I pee.
9. I heard if your flap continues to leak for more than four hours, you should call your doctor.
10. My tank overfloweth, if you know what I mean.
11. Is that what’s caused the seeping around my O-ring?

Not bad for a joke list about one work, huh? But don’t leave the funny up to us. Add your funny ballcock line in the comments.